To Have and to Hold: Motherhood, Marriage, and the Modern Dilemma

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Mothers often feel a wholly new relationship to time when they have a baby. That's normal. It's OK not to use every free moment to its utmost potential and instead to relax. I think there's quite a bit you can get out of this book especially if you are a middle-class, white, straight, married mother of young kids. I fall into that category and the book resonated with me, but I'm not sure how much it would for readers in other demographics. I liked the personal accounts of women in therapy with the author - it was relatable and it got her point across well, that mothers are struggling with things silently even if on the outside things appear great. She made some good points about social media - how even the "relatable," "honest" mommy bloggers and influencers portray a picture of a kind of studied messiness. I follow a lot of accounts in that category and I have noticed how even when they're posting about looking and feeling tired or worn out, their hair and makeup is on point and carefully disheveled; how a lot of the posts have to do with the mundane things that everyone knows are trying about motherhood - cleaning up spills, dealing with a crying baby - but not the big emotions like fear, anger, resentment, intrusive thoughts, doubt, etc. that might go along with the experience of motherhood. Verso la fine la storia si movimenta un po' e migliora ma la narrazione sembra una semplice esposizione dei fatti ed è molto impersonale e non fa entrare in sintonia con i personaggi. On the importance of paternity leave: "It might cost the family more money if Dad takes parental leave, but that might be income extremely well 'spent' if it is viewed as a kind of insurance policy against developing gendered power imbalances in the relationship, and the marital dissatisfaction that comes with them." (99) Alice seperti menemukan hidupnya kembali. Dia mulai membenahi rumah di pedesaan yang dulunya dimiliki oleh Rachel Danbury, seorang penulis. Kehidupan rumahtangganya mulai berantakan karena Alice lebih sering berada di rumah desanya sementara Joe menetap di Manhattan.

Much like All the Rage: Mothers, Fathers, and the Myth of Equal Partnership, I couldn't bookmark the whole book, so here are my top passages that I want to remember: Y es que Hechizada está narrado a través de múltiples puntos de vista, de todos los personajes involucrados. Sabemos qué piensan personajes como Alice, Joe, Emily, Harry o Josie... Pero también otros muchos personajes secundarios que no aportan demasiado y que realmente no necesitaban su propio punto de vista. Así que, aunque Alice desconozca (o finja desconocer) qué hace su marido cuando no está en casa, el lector lo sabe en todo momento, y me voy a detener aquí un segundo porque necesito desahogarme: Joe es el personaje más repugnante que me he encontrado en mucho tiempo. Bisa ditebak lagi, Alice cuma menjadi "istri piala". Joe menuntut Alice untuk selalu tampil prima, sehingga Alice harus melakukan diet ketat, meluruskan rambut, menghighlight rambut sehingga menjadi warna honey blond, memakai sepatu berhak tinggi Jimmy Choo dan tindakan yang menyiksa lainnya. There were some very moving and beautiful portions at the close of the book about how motherhood not only destabilizes marriages and a sense of self but also expands the same in ways that are probably only apparent with some distance. I found this very touching. The author is at her best when showing vulnerability.

CHAPTER VIII IN WHICH ENTERS MY LORD CARNAL

When Molly Millwood became a mother, she was fully prepared for what she would gain: an adorable baby boy; hard-won mothering skills; and a messy, chaotic, beautiful life. But what she did not expect was what she would lose: aspects of her identity, a baseline level of happiness, a general sense of wellbeing. And though she had the benefit of a supportive husband during this transition, she also at times resented the fact that the disruption to his life seemed to pale in comparison to hers.

To Have and to Hold ( 1899) is a novel by American author Mary Johnston. Published by Houghton Mifflin, it was the bestselling novel in the United States in 1900. Anyway, buku ini menceritakan tentang seorang perempuan bernama Alice. Dulunya Alice ini gadis biasa, rambut keriting, nggak cakep. Alice mempunyai mimpi untuk tinggal di pedesaan, berkebun dan melakukan pekerjaan domestik. Perkawinan di fantasinya adalah dilakukan di sebuah gereja batu kecil, dengan memakai fluffy wedding gown, mahkota bunga dan tanpa alas kaki. Together with writing books and blogs, she contributes to various publications, both online and print, including anthologies and novellas, and features for The Huffington Post, The Sunday Times, Cosmopolitan and Self. She has taught at writers conferences, and does regular keynote speaking, and has a weekly column in The Lady magazine, England’s longest running weekly magazine. Alice and Joe have a life change after Joe is caught with another woman by his boss and is given his only option.... to move to New York.

CHAPTER XIX IN WHICH WE HAVE UNEXPECTED COMPANY

The main character in Spellbound is Alice who you instantly warm to in Green's clever way of introducing you to her characters. Alice is married to Joe who I instantly disliked he moulds Alice into his ideal trophy wife encouraging her to dye her hair blonde and lose weight and wear designer clothes. They lead a very executive life, invited to every high profile dinner, dance or party. Joe parece el hombre perfecto, pero es un misógino de cuidado, siempre acostumbrado a lograr lo que quiere y que ve a las mujeres como meros accesorios. Veamos: Joe quiere una mujer que sea sumisa, maleable, que se peine y vista como él quiere, que cuide de él, que le vea como un dios y que, por supuesto, sea inferior. Una mujer guapa a la que llevar colgada del brazo para presumir de ella y poco más. Por eso se fija en Alice, porque ve que tiene potencial para convertirse en lo que él quiere, una mujer que esté dispuesta a complacerle en todo. Alice está tan enamorada que decide que no le importa que no tengan absolutamente nada en común, decide ser lo que Joe cree que ha de ser una buena mujer. Penoso, ¿verdad? Es mucho peor. Joe quiere que su mujer sea todo eso, pero cuando una mujer es todo eso, pierde su atractivo sexual y necesita buscar emoción en otra parte, porque le excita conquistar a mujeres que sean independientes, saborear el placer de lo prohibido. Joe tiene una larga lista de amantes, pero de entre ellas destaca Josie, una compañera de trabajo con mucho carácter que no parece necesitarlo. Claro está, también se enamorará de Joe, y buscará la manera de mantener el interés de este hasta que, si tiene suerte, Joe decida dejar a su mujer por ella. ¡¡Penoso!!

Naomi Kessling is certainly grateful to Colby for saving her family and agreeing to lead their train to safer territory. But the man has an infuriating way of knowing just how to get under her skin—he asks too may questions about a past she doesn't want to remember, and his touch makes her long for far more. Yet the more time they spend together, the more Naomi sees that perhaps it's Colby who needs rescuing the most... Sparrow argues that the Indians are sincere, that they do not, as Percy insists, wear a “mask.”“Believe it or not, it is so,” Percy warns his friend. “That dark, cold, still face is a mask, and that simple-seeming amazement at horses and armor, guns and blue beads, is a mask. It is in my mind that some fair day, the mask will be dropped.” Alice has married her high school crush and lives a life of luxury. She no longer works, gets her hair colored every 6 weeks, lunches with high society, and wears the latest fashions. One small problem: she isn’t herself. Also, her husband, Joe, is a womanizing cad, cheating on Alice every chance he can. When an affair with a co-worker goes awry, Alice and Joe move to the U.S., where Alice buys a cottage in the country. She begins to find herself through a love of gardening, and when her best friend and her boyfriend come to visit, she sees what a real relationship should be. When Joe starts to stray again, Alice wonders if she will ever find true happiness with her life.

What happens when your Prince Charming turns out not to be so charming after all? In To Have and To Hold, bestselling author Jane Green offers a sizzling, highly entertaining look at romantic relationships after we say “I do.” A clinical psychologist’s exploration of the modern dilemmas women face in the wake of new motherhood.

From USA Today Bestselling Author Leigh Greenwood comes a historical Western romance filled with gritty cowboy heroes, strong-willed heroines, and a whole lot of heart in the Wild West. On having children: "It has occurred to me that the decision to have children is not so unlike the decision to invite perfect strangers to come live you. Forever. The hope is that everyone likes each other, but the reality is that they could be as different from you, and one another, as possible, and they could have many annoying qualities, and everyone might get along poorly. And even if none of this rings true for your family right now, it could have been true in the past, or it may be true at some point in the future, because like us, our children are ever-changing. Sometimes they are barely recognizable as the same children we had last month or last year." (216)these words came to us over and over: “The Spaniard!”“The Inquisition!”“The galleys!” They were the words oftenest heard at that time, when Also, her ideas of equality in marriage send the message that traditional arrangements are always harmful. She laments that 50/50 childcare is more of a dream than the norm, since women tend to take on the brunt of domestic duties even when they are working equal hours to their husbands, but even when she is writing about stay-at-home moms, she conveys a sense of judgment about how much more involved women are, and how much more parenthood affects them than their spouses. She views marriages as patriarchal and unequal when there isn't an even labor split, and that is absolutely unreasonable, especially considering the biological elements that she kept contradicting herself on. The complex truths of motherhood will continue to make everyone uncomfortable and ashamed until they're articulated readily and repeatedly. (220) Hechizada, al menos, tiene un buen mensaje, y es el de que no tenemos que aceptar cambiar todo lo que nos define para ser aceptados por otra persona que nunca nos querrá como somos realmente, y, como dice Alice en cierto momento, los cabrones tienen su punto sexy pero son maridos horribles: mejor buscar alguien bueno, que nos cuide, y con el que podamos formar una vida en común y envejecer.