Joseph Dobson & Sons Marshmallow Mega Lollies 1.99 kg

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The bulk-buying classic. The only two ways to see these lollies is in a one dollar bag or in a five kilo bag. No in between. There are technically three flavours and they do taste different but they’re still somehow indistinguishable. Pour the watermelon and vodka blend into the mould and pop the mould in the freezer for an hour, or until the watermelon juice is part frozen but not totally solid. Easy Homemade Lollipops are the fastest and easiest edible treat to gift or get. Their crystal-clear color leaves the door wide open for customization when it comes to the colorful add-ins. Cut the watermelon up and put the chunks of watermelon flesh into a food processor and blend along with 100 ml of vodka

You could argue that TNTs shouldn’t be in this list at all because they’re individually wrapped. You could argue that, and you probably will argue that, but it’s too late. What’s done is done. TNTs used to be sold separately and were one of the rare 10 cent lollies for the high rollers. But given the shift away from build-a-bags, they’re now sold almost exclusively as dollar bags. And what a dollar bag. They’re the only lolly with actual liquid in them and are proper sour. In lieu of putting the almighty zombie chew on this list, I put the mini equivalent.No gummy is harder to chew than the infamous colourful crocodiles. It’s so, so hard. I used to think some off them had gone stale but no, that’s how hard they’re supposed to be. They’re a lovely colour, though, and the shape and size makes it fun to eat so credit where credit’s due. I’ve opted for seasonal sprinkles, but you could also decorate them with crushed candy canes for a wintery spin. And don’t forget to stir in your favorite flavorings, such as cherry or strawberry extract to give the pops a punch of fruity flavor. If boiling sugar makes you run for the hills (or candy aisle!), have no fear. I’ve included all my candy-making tips in the recipe to guarantee sweet success. Boil a small amount of water in your kettle. Put the sugar into a jug with a splash of boiled water and stir until the sugar is dissolved.

Placing one of these on your tongue and feeling it dissolve like the mildest chemical burn is a uniquely New Zealand thrill. They’re also the best option in those weird lolly machines where you turn the handle and the sweets drop down the chute. Is this relevant to anyone? I’ve only ever seen them at Placemakers in Kaiwharawhara and VTNZ offices.

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All sweet gum is gross after approximately ten (10) seconds or seven (7) chews. I’m honestly surprised these are still available. You do you, concrete gum. L-R: Pineapple lumps, rainbow bars, tangy grapes, crocodiles, spinning top gum Slice the strawberries lengthways, cut one of the limes in half and squeeze the juice into the sugar water. Cut the other lime into slices. I’ve noticed that people who are long in the tooth (euphemism and pun at the same time, you’re welcome) are very fond of these rainbow bars. I tasted one for the first time this week and I gotta tell you, I wasn’t impressed. What even is it? It tasted a little gooey like marshmallow but also jelly but also sugar granuley. Not a fan but I respect my elders so will rank it here. My search for an image of “Y2K bug lollies” was futile. Turns out they’re called ‘sour spiders’ which is making me question every memory I’ve ever had. But I was right about them being Pascall at least.]

You have to really love a lolly to keep buying it even after learning of its cancelled name and concept. Nobody loves these lollies that much.

Dishwasher residue. If you use a dish washing machine, or have a water softener, there can be residual soaps and water conditioners/ drying agents on your pans. Before making candy wash your pots with very hot water, going over each surface even if it looks perfectly clean, and dry with paper towels or air dry. I saw a few comments about less than perfect results. I also had yellow tinged candies all though it did not affect the taste.

In a jug, mix Slingsby Rhubarb Gin with Fentimans Rose Lemonade and squeeze into the mixture 1 tbsp of agave syrup. As tempting as it is, please don't be too heavy with the gin as your lollies won't set! I discovered these late (year 12, shoutout Dilip’s Four Square in Wellington) but boy did I make up for lost time. Raspberry drops are easily the best value for money in that they last for ages and you get a bunch in every bag. The one downside is they make your tongue go red/purple which is fine for a kid after school and less fine for an adult in a work meeting. As far as taste and longevity goes, you simply cannot beat a raspberry drop.Slice the remaining 50g of pineapple chunks so they are thinner. Add these to your ice lolly moulds. When sour coke bottles exist, it’s sad to think that the non-sour coke bottle has to go around pretending it’s “pretty much the same”. The less successful sibling of dairy lollies, the non-sour coke bottle needs to rebrand away from its beloved relative. Start a clothing line, write poetry, become their manager, do something. To serve, rim the glass with sugar, add a couple of scoops to a glass and then pour over 25ml of Framboise. I like blowpipes (wish they had a better name than blowpipes tbh) but I’m aware that they’re polarising. They look like the scary red electric cords from the space level in Crash Bandicoot 2 and I assume that’s exactly what the manufacturers were going for. Unfortunately they’re sherbet without being sour, which makes the sherbet a bit pointless. But they come in nice colours and are satisfying to eat via being like a sweet noodle. You shouldn’t be going to the dairy to buy marshmallows. But if you insist on being weird, at least buy marshmallow twists.